a new chapter: 1st day of sec 4 life

few pics which i took ytd.
it's first day of school. an important year ahead. still im in such a bad mood. things just doesn get any better.

well you see. i've been mood swing-ing th whole day. i felt so lonely at times. as usual. i never can lead the life i wanted so badly. never even get a taste of it. No life-.- im not blaming my parents. but i just cant stand feeling that im so that damn ugly. why others always look chio chio one. i tried and tried. seriously i feel so tired at times. but who will care for me. life must go on.i needa be strong.

often i wondered. after all for what i did. what did i gained? im still sad even more sad at the moment. heart beating so fast that i'll go mad just that soon.still, in th end i needa hang in there.
can anyone understand? no. they dont.

no matter how strong you are, it's th motivation of any reason that keeps you going. at times, u cant deny it that u need somebody by your side. even if he/she cant heal th wound. at least he/she makes u feel better. makes u feel that you are not inferior as compared to others. makes u feel that you are alive at the moment. (esp to xxx, u know it.but stay strong)

lastly, yes i'e changed. im no longer who i am. yes, more negative. but what can you do to it? lastly, lost confidence in friendship. it's a long way to go b4 time slowly heals it. still, i'll treat you guys same. but the latent inner feeling that i feel deep down shall never be the same. my happiness simply dont last.

since it's the first day of school right? shant make the post so emotional. shall talk about some school stuff. well aircon-ed classroom. yay? well. it's not very so that cold i assume. but then sheene stills says that it's freezing. Ha. fine. no comment. off to cwp after school with LL and lili. was damn happy that there is not any amaths lesson. well. first day of school leh! come on!went cotton on then walk here and there. nth much. just the same all CWP -.- lent jh and weiting popular card. was planning to buy earpiece but dropped th idea. and bla bla bla bla bla bla. then went back home. well. no life ppl no need talk so much about her no life lar right?

well, so much for th first post. emotions filled within.

i need alcohol -.-

missing my darling more than ever.